Oh dearest readers, it is with a heavy heart that I write today. For this shall be my last letter to you before I return to Verona with Romeo. I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart, for you have been incredibly helpful and supportive of me during my time here. You and the sisters were there for me from the very beginning, and I will never be able to thank you enough.
It is sad to think that soon, I will have completely vanished from this world. Even in Verona, those who travel far can sometimes be reached by letters. In your world, the concept of distance seems much less terrifying, for you have telephones and the Internet. Yet soon, none of your emails or phone calls or letters will reach me. Given time, I wonder if I shall be completely forgotten here. That is, this me that is a living, breathing person, and not just a tragic figure from a story.
Though I regret leaving you in such a way, I am looking forward to returning to my world and seeing those I had left behind. Even more, I am looking forward to putting all of my effort into changing my fate. It shan’t be easy, but I am confident, for Romeo has agreed to help me. Somehow, I know we’ll be able to do it together.
Thank you, once again, everyone. I have learned many things from you and from my time here. I wish to leave you with this advice based on my experiences: even when you feel strongly about something, be willing to listen to the thoughts of others. This way, when the time comes to make a decision, you can be sure to make one you won’t regret.
With these words, I bid you farewell.
Dearest readers, I am once again truly sorry for my prolonged absence. Ever since Romeo and I started speaking again, I have had many things on my mind that I felt I needed some time to sort through.
Romeo has told me that everything that has occurred since our arrival in this world was, on his part, intentional. He learned of our fictional nature and our cruel fate. He told me that he pushed me away so that I could live without fear of that fate. Everything from his anger towards me to his relationship with another was even more fictional than our Verona.
Listening to these words was painful, but I myself am surprised that I did not cry. It was almost as though he spoke to someone else entirely while I looked upon the scene. I understood his intentions. I even forgave him. However, at that moment I realized how truly vast the rift between us had become.
I once said to you that God matched our souls in heaven. My time in your world has made me understand how truly naive those words had been. Romeo had deceived me, and the fact that I allowed him to do it only shows that he had never been the Romeo I thought I knew. What is worse though is that I did not even try to understand him. I thought that returning was what he and I both wanted, but had I stopped to listen to him, perhaps we could have reached an understanding without all of this pain. Perhaps we would have truly gotten to know each other instead of making assumptions about what the other wanted.
We have a lot in common, Romeo and I. We both come from stubborn families. We both wish to stop the feud between them. We both have dreams for the future. And we are both tragic figures from a beloved tale, trapped in a strange world. We should have been there for one another long ago, but we are here now, and I feel at ease knowing that for once, Romeo is truly open with me.
The burning love Romeo and I once shared is but a distant memory, a fading dream at daybreak. And yet, I am truly grateful for everything that has happened, for it allowed us to grow as people and especially as friends.
Dearest readers, this is a selfish wish, but I very much want Romeo to come back with me. I know that he is not truly happy here, and I would miss him dearly. If I learned anything in this world, it is that no one should have to be resigned to fate. I want to remember everything that has happened here and use it to put an end to the feud between our families, but I know not if I can succeed alone. I want my dear friend Romeo by my side. We got through our ordeals here, and I know that together we can get through anything.
It seems that this Thursday was a kind of holy day in this land dedicated to giving thanks for the things in life we are grateful to have. In a lot of ways, I have much I should be thankful for.
I am thankful for whatever it was that brought me here, for it saved my life and averted the cruel fate of many people.
I am thankful for the kind sisters who have done so much to take care of me and make me feel comfortable in this strange world.
And I am grateful for having had the chance to meet Romeo and keep him as a friend even though our love was short-lived.
And yet, there is a small part of me that wonders if these things were for the better. One of you told me that my story inspired you and countless others, but I am no longer the Juliet of that story, defined by her death. How ironic it is, for an early demise would have given Romeo and me immortality.
I am grateful for the opportunity to live and to experience so many wonderful things. And yet there is that horrible, selfish part of me that wonders if this is right.
My dear readers, I don’t know what to think anymore. The other day, I chanced upon a store selling books, and it turned out to be the very store where Romeo was working. How surprised I was to see him so suddenly! My heart was racing, for I had not seen him for days, but we had a very amicable conversation.
He had to step away to tend to a customer, and thinking it rude to leave without a proper goodbye, I remained for a while longer, browsing the tomes. It did not take me long to find yet another copy of that very book, my friends, and once again it was empty of writing. When Romeo returned, I asked him if the book looked the same to him. He nodded, but for a moment I saw his features darken before he abruptly started talking about other things.
That was when I remembered that several of you had directed me to a page where I could see a summary of that book’s contents. I suggested to Romeo that we look at it together, but his reaction was not one I could have expected. He told me that it did not matter in a raised voice, and I was so shocked by his shouts that I could not hold back my tears. Even as he apologized, I ran out of the store, ashamed of my emotions.
By the time I returned to the dormitory, I had finally regained control of myself. Vowing to stop being so moved by my feelings for Romeo, I found the page you readers have shown me and began to read.
Dear readers, I feel that there is little purpose in reiterating what is written there. I must be the only person in this world who did not know – did not know that my life is but part of a tragic tale of warning that has been retold in this world for centuries. That had we not been delivered here when we had, Romeo and I would become but martyrs in literature.
Days have passed, and I am still unable to sort out my thoughts and feelings. I know not what to think, nor what I want anymore. For I know in my heart that I would have made every single one of those decisions as written on that page.
My dear friends, I apologize profusely for neglecting you the past few days! Romeo and I, while certainly not friends, are civil to one another, and cordial at least. Whenever I see him, however, he always looks rather sad–though perhaps I am just imagining it.
But, readers, the reason why I’ve been so busy and have not posted lately is because I’ve been doing some research of my own. Since Romeo, and all of you, seem to think that we are from a different world entirely from this one, I assumed there would be no harm in attempting to do some research.. So, with the help of Margaret, I entered the college library to conduct some research, assuming that what I would be able to find would be, at best, limited.
O readers, how wrong I was! After an hour or so spent drudging through the
library, I saw something quite peculiar, and it made me quite uneasy. I thought
perhaps I should share it with you all.
I was browsing the library, and stumbled upon their classic literature section
which was, admittedly, quite grand. I can’t quite explain why, but I felt pulled to
it, as though some inner force was driving me. And, somehow, I found myself
standing in front of a section dedicated to solely one man’s work—William
Shakespeare. The name sounded vaguely familiar, as though he was a very
distant cousin. And, my readers, perhaps you shan’t believe this, but—I found a
book with my name on it. Not just mine, but Romeo’s as well! So I opened the book.
The pages were completely white. No, words, nothing–just blankness.
So, I continued to look–in the library, in bookstores, all over town. I daresay every copy of the book that I was able to get my hands on was completely blank. I am wondering if, perhaps, this is not a coincidence at all.
My dear friends, I must thank you so much for your comments on my last entry. I realize that I must thank you so often that it seems insincere, but your kindness and concern has meant so much to me throughout this strange and difficult time.
I took your advice, and went to visit Romeo at the hospital. He seemed to be doing fine and also appeared very glad to see me. We talked for a long while, mostly about this strange world and all of the nuances we had learned about. It was shockingly pleasant, actually.
Still, imagine how surprised I was this evening to turn to my computer and see that Romeo had unblocked me and left an apology on his blog! Finally, he is once more beginning to act like the Romeo I know and love–sorry, loved, I suppose. He still claims his love for this…Vanessa, which I suppose I cannot blame him for. I, too, know how love can crush a person in her steely grip, and refuse to let go. I, too, know what it is like to love so deeply that without them, you cannot feel whole. I, too, know.
My dear readers, I feel as though I must inform you of something that occurred on Friday night, which I found out about yesterday. Romeo was drinking the same night as I was apparently, only a lot more vigorously. They took him to the hospital. They had to do some sort of extraction of the alcohol in his body through a pump system. I’m not really sure what happened.
Friends, I want so much not to care anymore. I want so much to toss him aside as callously as he did me. I read over your comments on my last post, which just confirms to me all the things I should be feeling. I should hate him, and I do, but…when I heard this news from Margaret, I felt like vomiting and weeping. I was shaking and yet unable to move from sheer fear. I felt like the darkness of the world had descended upon me. And, my loyal friends, I feel ashamed to admit that part of me just wanted to rush to the hospital and feel him in my arms once again.
But, reality is unkind, and I know that I could never go to Romeo and ask for his love. Even now, I don’t think that I would want it. But this has made me realize that perhaps letting go of him will be harder than I originally thought.
My dear readers…I’m afraid that my ability for eloquence has been stolen from me through the sheer force of heartbreak. I suppose I can only blame myself, though the pain of losing him alone is too much to bear.
When I spoke to Romeo, he admitted to me his transgressions. Hearing the words from his lips was almost too much to bear. I had noticed a change in him, how suddenly I became bothersome to him rather than the object of his affections, but never thought…I suppose I had been rather foolish, looking back on it.
I got no apology from Romeo, and he confessed his love for another. Then, he rejected me. It pains me to write it…he said he chooses her.
O, cruel fates! How you mock me so callously, tempting me with the promise of love, only to snatch it from my fingers!
Dejected, I returned to the sorority house only to find that a gathering would be going on that night. I told them what had transpired between myself and Romeo, and they cursed his name, telling me to attend the party that night and try to “have a good time.”
So, I went. And, my dear readers, I’m not proud of what happened next. I went to the party and discovered the large reservoir of alcohol that was provided, and resolved to get very drunk to forget all that happened that day. I drank one glass of beer, and my resolve vanished. My emotions unleashed themselves, and my tears fell rapidly and loudly. Margaret and Rachel took me back to my room and comforted me.
O, readers, of one thing I am sure. The passion of my love for Romeo has descended into hatred. And while I may wish that he would love me again, his deception has hurt me so that all I can do now is curse his name, curse his new love, and pray for my return to Verona, where I can forget all about him.
I CANNOT BELIEVE HIM! That lying, two-faced…ugh. Maybe I should start
at the beginning.
So, today, I was having issues with my computer. Apparently, these devices
respond poorly to water, because when I tried to wash it today it made a strange
buzzing sound and wouldn’t turn back on. Luckily, one of the sorority sisters, Rachel, offered her computer to me, and I was able to access my blog from there.
Anyway, some of your comments lately have seemed rather strange to me. Some of you were mentioning talking to Romeo, one of you thought that he blocked me, and people are mentioning someone named Vanessa? I was starting to become suspicious. So, I tried checking on Rachel’s computer, just to see…
AND THAT MILK-LIVERED CODPIECE BLOCKED ME.
Not only that but…well, I don’t even think I can talk about what his post said. I
need advice, and I’m afraid you all are the only ones I can turn to—the sorority
sisters all despise him, so they’re biased. Should I confront him? What should I do? In other words: HELP!!
I’ve been away from this blog for just a day, but already I have so much to say. Where to begin…? Well, Romeo asked me out to dinner this morning. I was absolutely ecstatic to see that he was finally starting to really get serious about returning home, and of course, the idea of dinner with my loved one was exciting! In Verona, there was never much opportunity for us to spend time together in the normal stages of courtship–everything had to be so quiet and secretive. So, how relieved was I to have Romeo ask for my company tonight! Especially since you all have been telling me that I needed to talk to him, it was absolutely perfect.
When we got to dinner tonight, it started off very well. It had been quite some time since we had the opportunity to speak to each other, since it’s now a rarity for me to see Romeo daily. I decided to take your advice and confront him about his constant shirking of our responsibility to return home. I approached it in a gentle manner, and asked him honestly if he still wished to return to Verona.
And instead of answering my question, he accused me of nagging him. I couldn’t believe it! Nagging him? I must admit that I do not have the best control over my temper, but even now the implication boils my blood! What could possibly be more important right now than returning home? What could possibly be occupying his mind right now that is more important than getting us back to where we belong, where we can finally be together and wed?
I wound up leaving the dinner before our entrees even arrived. When I returned to the sorority, some of the sisters comforted me and we watched a very sad movie together, called The Notebook. It made me feel even worse.
I’ve been reading some of the comments on here lately, and I must say, I am very confused about what to think. All I will say right now is that, regardless of how he behaved today, I am, of course, still deeply in love with Romeo. After all, without Romeo, what am I even doing here? All of my efforts would just be a waste of time. I just want us to return, away from all of these distractions, so we can be together as we once were.